Ungrateful Kids

[calcav25]

My 3 year old will not pick up his toys. So he thinks I put some in the trash. That has got him going. My 13 year old had a bad mouth when asked to put up about 6 shirts of hers. I am not sure if she even put them up. I think she throw them in her room. She does nothing at my house without a fight. I am thinking if not put up when I go to bed(she will be asleep by then). Maybe wake her up with water(not sure if I want to be that mean). I also thought maybe find a soup kitchen for her to work in for a day. She is a very ungrateful teenager. I have been thinking about this for a few hours. She does not care about anything. So taking things away does not work. If anyone has any suggests please let me hear them.

[Coupon_Addict]

if she doesn't appreciate what she already has, then i would say don't buy her anything else. no new clothes or toys or music or video games or whatever. if she absolutely needs something, like new pants, don' buy her the kind she wants, just buy her something functional. see if that changes her attitude.

[calcav25]

Hey great idea did not think about the clothes thing. She has enough right now but in the future that is a great idea. Did not think about that. Because yes her clothes do matter to her. Thanks so much. I have been racking my brain trying to come up with something she cares about. And the answer seems so simple.

[Coupon_Addict]

happy to help! i hate seeing ungrateful kids who don't seem to mind hurting their parents' feelings. seems like these days a lot of kids feel they are entitled to everything! just gotta show them that's not the case

[FrugalEngineer]

I was going to suggest something like that. Instead, I'll suggest that you google "Love and Logic". Jim Faye (sp?) teachers teachers and parents how to get through to kids in the 'tough' age. He's got lots of great ideas like that. My DH got to be a fan of his when teaching at inner city schools. HTH

[vcphillips]

My kids are 7,5, and 4and they too are very ungrateful!!! Just 1 month ago I got so sick and tired of the mouthing, not doing what I asked and not taking care of things that I buy. Here is what happened. I went to Toys r US here in Japa. Bought my boys a dinosaur hotwheels track and some cars to go with it. We paid over $100 for this darn thing. If we were in the States it would have only cost us about $60. Well we get it home put it together and about 30 minutes later we tell the kids it is time to clean up and eat. While the kids are eating my husband goes upstairs to put away the kids' clothes and the brand new track that we had just bought was snapped in half. Every single individual peice was snapped in half. I was livid. So that is the night that I think I went crazy. I gathered up everything in the kids' room- I left them NO toys, I did leave them their dressers and beds with sheets and blanket and pillow, I left them each 7 outfits. That is all they have in there rooms. I actually did throw their stuff in the trash. I have pulled the ~ I throw it in the trash thing or you can have it back when you get your act together. The worst part for them was the next morning they had to take the trash bags to the trash can themselves. When we go to the store they are no longer allowed to get a toy. They only get toys for holidays. I tell them that if they end up on the floor or are not put away within the first time of me asking that they will too go in the trash. When we go out to eat- they no longer are allowed to get a happymeal- they get a whopper jr. meal with water- if we go to BK that is. When we are at home they do not get there fun sugary cereals, koolaid, icecream- Unless they have been super good for several days in a row. If one of the kids acts up that day- they ruin the fun for everyone else that day- like if I was going to let them have koolaide for dinner instead of water- they will have to have water to drink because one got into trouble. Btw meals they are allowed to have a snack with water to drink. They get 20 minutes to eat- if they do not wish to eat during those 20 mintues they will ot get anything until the next meal- NO SNACK- they will however beable to get milk or water to drink if they are thirsty. My kids were so spoiled - and it was all because of my husband and I. For chores- my 4 year old wipes toilets, and vacuums and cleans her room, my 5 year old-does his room, sweeps and mops and clean the tubs and does yard work, My 7 y/o does his room , unloads the dishwasher, folds laundry and does yard work also.

Wow- so sorry this was so long.

[mnm'z]

Watch World's Strictest Parents ~ I know, I know, another reality show. But somehow I got sucked into it, and it really is a good show. Troubled and "angry" teens (I say it like that, because usually teens don't really know what to be angry about...) go to a strict parents house, and are not able to pull the crap they do on their own parents. On one show, the strict parents took away EVERYTHING in the kids room except a box spring and mattress, because that's all that's needed in a 'bedroom'. A bed in a room. LOL! You might get some ideas...

Here's a poem that went around a while back... you may enjoy this.

Poem to MOM

My son came home from school one day, with a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough, to put me in my place.

'Guess what I learned in Civics Two, that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today, The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'

It says I need not clean my room, don't have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think, or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion, and regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head, and I sure don't have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want, and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like, get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever spank me, I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges, with the marks on my behind.

Don't you ever touch me, my body's only for my use,
Not for your hugs and kisses, that's just more child abuse.

Don't preach about your morals, like your Mama did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control, and it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights, so you can't influence me,
Or I'll call Children's Services Division, Better known as C.S.D.'

Mom's Reply and Thoughts

Of course my first instinct was to toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully, I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face, he's messing with a pro.

Next day I took him shopping at the local Goodwill Store.
I told him, 'Pick out all you want, there's shirts & pants galore.

I've called and checked with C.S.D... Who said they didn't care
If I bought you K-Mart shoes instead of those Nike Airs.

I've canceled that appointment to take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. is unconcerned so I'll decide what's best.

I said 'No time to stop and eat, or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn to make your own sack lunch.

Just save the raging appetite, and wait till dinner time.
We're having liver and onions, a favorite dish of mine.

He asked 'Can I please rent a movie, to watch on my VCR?'
'Sorry, but I sold your TV, for new tires on my car.
I also rented out your room, you'll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. requires just a roof over your head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now, i'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get, will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski, dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights', it's in effect today!

Hey hot shot, are you crying, why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out, instead of C.S.D..?'

Send to all people that have teenagers, have already raised teenagers,
have children who will soon be teenagers or those who will be parents someday

OR ANYONE WHO'D JUST GET A LAUGH

MOM (Mean Old Mother)

[smarch08]

That has to be the greatest poem I have ever read, I sat here rolling on the floor! I am a a survivor of 2 teenage girls, and 2 teenage boys. I have had my kids threatened to call cps on me, while I gladly handed them the phone.
You have to be strict and stand your ground, remember what your parents would do, it worked for me. I think to many people are afraid of their kids these days (hurting their fealings, or being threatened with the police or cps) You have to remember, you are the parent, you are in charge, you pay the bills, and put clothes on their back and food on the table!
I love the idea of the soup kitchen by the way, and mnm I love that show, worlds strictest parents, we all might learn a thing or two by it!

Good Luck!

[mommaof3]

fantastic, thanks for posting the poem MNMz. I have 3 kiddos, and while the second and third child are really too little to start yet, we do get attitude from the oldest at times. Yes, if every generation keeps giving their children "what they didn't/couldn't have" it does make for increasingly spoiled kiddos, unfortunately. Sometimes doing without makes you a better/stronger person for it, and gives some compassion and understanding for those that don't have as much. We had each child donate one toy, JUST ONE, to goodwill and my oldest had a fit over it. I think what we will do at one of our birthday parties is to ask for a small donation for the SPCA in lieu of a gift, to try and teach a sense of helping others.

[jojoshort]

I survived parenting two teenagers and lived to tell the tale ! Seriously, it's the toughest job in the world and you're constantly being asked to think on your feet and then the game changes as they grow older.
Don't be afraid to set reasonable rules in your own home. I found that being very clear on expectations and the consequences of not meeting those expectations really helped. Kids today are really smart, and if they're healthy, they'll push your buttons and try to find some wiggle room. LOL they can be like little lawyers sometimes. When they reach teenager stage, it's not unreasonable for you to tell them that they need to save up for wants. Paper jobs, lawn work, birthday money, all can be their way of controlling what they want (within reason). I see no reason a parent should just buy things for kids when they can earn what they want for themselves. My kids each had paper routes when they got into middle school and they also did odd jobs for neighbors. Today, my girlfriend laments that her college-aged daughter still asks for money. I can't remember the last time my kids asked me for anything. They knew they had to save up for it themselves.