Just venting

[Coupon_Queen]

Two more months 'till baby #2 comes, I feel like I'm in that 'nothing to do' rut. Not working anymore (I quit my waitress job) so not much adult interaction. DH is the same uncaring, not-helping person he always is. My whole family is 3000 miles away so it gets lonely.

I do have a church but I feel like I don't fit into the ladies groups much. I'm still reading my bible and staying close to the Lord. I know he's there even when no one else is but it's still hard to have a brick wall for a husband and no adult interaction most days.

Some days I get sad that none of my family will be waiting outside the door to hear "its a girl" and rush in to congratulate me when she's born. DH doesn't even want to be there either, he says it's gross. So I'll be giving birth alone, just me and the midwife. Its such a special time but I'm worried no one will be there to share that moment with me.

My 3 1/2 year old keeps me going but on days he's especially disobediant its hard. In two months I'll have my hands full, I'm just so ready for her to get here. Does anyone out there have a less then perfect (or should I say stagnant) marriage? I'm tired of pretendng everything's great. Don't want to sound so pathetic, just getting it out.

I have a long distance friend who I share these things with but you can only unload so much on a person ya know? DS is napping (my quiet time) but I should go start dinner. Thanks for listening.

[cboyer]

It sounds like you need a hug {{{{HUG}}}}}

[vagabond2]

Yikes! I looked on the map and you are way south of here. Whatever took you that way and so far from your family?? Where are they?

I hear you....its hard being in a situation that seems like you've hit a brick door and being so far from family especially at a time like this. Have you got somebody at the church to speak with? I'll pray that you meet a friend to share your joy with.....

I've been married 30 years. Let me tell you its not been a walk in the park but through counseling and a lot of hard work on both our parts its pretty darn sweet now...

Feel free to talk anytime you want....{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}

[bnkkey]

You can vent anytime you feel the need.We may not be close but we do listen!! I'm sending prayers and hugs your way!!!!

[Califgirl]

I was in your situation once too. I decided I had enough of the abuse and took my girls and left.It wasnt easy with a 6 year old and a three year old.But its the best decision I ever made.Sending you a big HUGGGGGG

[CMUGRAD]

Originally Posted by Coupon_Queen

Two more months 'till baby #2 comes, I feel like I'm in that 'nothing to do' rut. Not working anymore (I quit my waitress job) so not much adult interaction. DH is the same uncaring, not-helping person he always is. My whole family is 3000 miles away so it gets lonely. I do have a church but I feel like I don't fit into the ladies groups much. I'm still reading my bible and staying close to the Lord. I know he's there even when no one else is but it's still hard to have a brick wall for a husband and no adult interaction most days. Some days I get sad that none of my family will be waiting outside the door to hear "its a girl" and rush in to congratulate me when she's born. DH doesn't even want to be there either, he says it's gross. So I'll be giving birth alone, just me and the midwife. Its such a special time but I'm worried no one will be there to share that moment with me. My 3 1/2 year old keeps me going but on days he's especially disobediant its hard. In two months I'll have my hands full, I'm just so ready for her to get here. Does anyone out there have a less then perfect (or should I say stagnant) marriage? I'm tired of pretendng everything's great. Don't want to sound so pathetic, just getting it out. I have a long distance friend who I share these things with but you can only unload so much on a person ya know? DS is napping (my quiet time) but I should go start dinner. Thanks for listening.

I don't think anyone that is married can say they have a perfect marriage if they are truly honest with themselves. I for sure will admit there are days when I want to ship my DH off to Timbuktu and then he will do something that makes me realize that in spite of everything he really is a good guy and quite frankly the perfect match for me.

I would talk some of this over with your pastor and go from there. It sounds like you are at a point where you need a third party for both of you to talk to and work things out.

[Coupon_Queen]

Originally Posted by Califgirl

I was in your situation once too. I decided I had enough of the abuse and took my girls and left.It wasnt easy with a 6 year old and a three year old.But its the best decision I ever made.Sending you a big HUGGGGGG

Sometimes I wish I could do just that. My husband would NEVER go to counseling, I've asked him before he is too macho for that. We moved here to be by his dad but after living there for 6 months they told us to go and have never spoken to us since. He is going into the navy in March, so we're going to Illinois after his bootcamp. Thanks for your responses, there are a few people at church but I feel like I'm just telling them the same story again.

[nurse334]

hey there
I know where your at right now have been married for 13 years and I swear that the older my husbands gets the younger he acts at this rate by the time he's 70 he'll act like a 2 year old.... when things get tough for us and I mean really tough like I'm ready to pack and walk out I'll tell him we need to talk and we'll set down and talk to each other sometimes in the day to day life you forget to communicate try talking to him and see where it gets you p.s I live in louisiana but I'll gladly come to the hospital and wait out side your door and share the wonderful experince of bring a child into the world take care big hug and prayers sent your way.

[julieduck]

I'm sorry you feel isolated and your husband is being a jerk. Guys are such..dumbheads in relationships. They think if they ignore a problem it will just go away, but it doesn't. I had an ex many years ago who I was practically screaming for 6 months that we needed help/counseling and when I had enough and left he acted all surprised and didn't know where it was coming from. Idiot . And the military thing is great...now he'll be gone for extended periods and you'll see you can manage without him. I guess he doesn't see this, though. I do feel bad for you. I and many others did manage to make it out of bad marriages with kids. And I'm sorry, but from your story that's exactly where it sounds your's is going. Best of luck. Congratulations on your new baby girl! I do hope things get better for you.

[Bear]

It sounds like you and your husband just need to connect. I have been married for 19 years and not all of them have been happy. I believe you have to keep working at it. I was lucky DH was willing to go to therapy twice. Therapy helps but its not a cure all. If DH won't go I urge you to seek therapy on your own. A therapist can give you ideas on how to bring the connection back into your marriage. A second baby on the way and a toddler is a stressful time in a marriage.