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10-01-2009, 01:25 PM
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 I know we are young, that's why it seems so hard sometimes. Especially when money gets tight, or things aren't going great at work, he gets mean at home. I think my love language is words of affirmation and quality time, which is why my love tank is empty. I think I show love to him through acts of service. His last idea for "date night" was to see that horrifying move District 9. He's like 'wasn't that awesome!' I was ready to throw up. Date night is about once a year. The real issue here is I'm a christian and he is not. He hates God and tells me its all BS. SO that really is where I believe all this stems from. If I were to tell a pastor (which I have before) I know they would say well thats where you need to start from. They really had no answers. I KNOW someday he is going to mature and be a great husband, its just going to be long and hard waiting for God to work on him. On a better note, my midwife appt today was great, everything is going good with the pregnancy, and DH got called to work first thing this morning (AC work is slowing down because its been cool for a few days here in Miami). DS took a nap with no fuss, and a big stack of books I got from the library have turned out to be a great series (Love comes softly-Janette Oke). Thanks again ladies.
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"And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content" 1 Timothy 6:8 
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10-05-2009, 11:13 AM
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jeez you guys are very young, i dont think your DH has quite learned how to be with women because he himself is so young! and you both had kids young so had to grow up REAL fast...
Not to take sides, but your husband is like15 years behind you in maturity by means of not having been able to grow up yet, plus remember this is the training they get in military, to be cold etc... but there are no excuses.... ive been married to a wonderful guy for 5 months after a first horrendous marriage, and even with a wonderful man, it AINT EASY, just now i had a huge blow up with him because he lets his younger brother get away with murder (mind you the bro is 33) and im not allowed to say anything even though what happened affects me... I hope that you will find things to do that make you happy, and that are your own.... dh will see you are fine without him...... you need a kissy kissyyyyyyyy {{{{{{MUAH!}}}}}}
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ISO Red is high need Swiffer cat food/litter any kind Bread coupons, esp. pepperidge finish electrasol cascade tide or purell febreze crest dish detergent
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10-05-2009, 11:29 AM
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Dana,
Sending good thoughts your way.  Concentrate on your children and staying positive. It's not good for either one of you to be so stressed out. Your DH is very young, so maturity is a huge factor. Trust me, even at 43, my DH has plenty of his own moments. Sometimes men can be very selfish. God will give you the strength you need to get through the next couple of months. Hopefully when the baby comes, DH will change his attitude. I'll pray for you.
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Always ISO: Iams dry dog food Coffee Mate Liquid $1 Hefty Zip or Trash bags Lil Critters Gummy Vites
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10-05-2009, 01:53 PM
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So I tried to have a good weekend, despite whatever DH was doing. He went to a concert Saturday night with his brother, comes home at 1 am to wake me up to tell me they are going to a strip club. Showers, gets all gussied up for that, and I'm wondering how we might stretch his short paycheck from last week. When I checked our bank stuff online, he took $40 from an ATM, plus spent $20 cash he had on him. Sunday we eat dinner at like 8, late for us, I offer him other choices since I know he doesnt care for stouffer's lasagna. He says he doesnt want anything. Then I sit down to eat, he says 'Where's mine?!' So I serve it to him knowing he hates it. He takes one bite, says 'this is disgusting', and throws it in the sink, breaking the plate and everything. I just eat since I'm starving, then he makes a can of soup and a bowl of cereal, leaving a mess for me to clean up, and complaining not to buy that cereal again because it 'tastes like they changed it'. Whatever! Thank God he gets a call first thing today, I can't stand when he's home complaining.
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"And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content" 1 Timothy 6:8
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10-05-2009, 03:13 PM
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I'm so sorry that you are going through all of this.
It seems to me that I remember reading in one of your other posts that hubby didn't want any more children. (Or am I confusing you with someone else?) If so, that could be the reason why his behavior is so hostile. He may be feeling the pressure of providing for another child and doesn't know how to handle it. Babies do have a way of growing on you, so maybe he'll fall in love with the baby and things will improve?? I'm crossing my fingers for you, and keeping you in my prayers.
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10-05-2009, 05:12 PM
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My heart really goes out to you. Let me say, i don't agree that the military trains them to be cold, they have to know where to direct what i like to call the "discipline" that they're taught. My husband served this country for 22 yrs. was a drill srg., worked under 3 presidents, stood guard over the tombs of the unknown soldiers, was infantry the whole time he was in and believe me i could go on, i'm very proud of his career so i'm sorry if i seem to be venting now but my husband is very understanding and still after being retired since 2005 he is still putting in time working overseas for the past 4 yr.s now. I'm saying all of this to say i can totally understand how alone you feel. I moved here to Ga when my 3yr. old was only 3wks old that was in 2006, we were only here 4 mnths together b4 he decided to go back overseas, 2 wks b4 he was to leave, we found out i was pregnant again. the 1st was only going on 4 mnths old. I was lucky enough to have the 1st in N.Y. with all of my family around but not for the next one. It was very lonely, just me and the team in the O.R.. I had 2 high risk pregnancies, partly do to my age(46 now) there was no one in the waiting room. My husband was due to come home the week after she was born but surprised me the very next day walking into my hospital room. I am very grateful for him but totally know how you feel. I call my parents 6,7 times a day, they live in N.Y. along with all my brothers and sister. I have a 24 yr.old and a 17 yr.old from my 1st marriage. they visit as much as possible but it is still lonely,especially when the holidays come, it's just me and the girls which are now 2 & 3 so i know how hard it can get, some days i just want to scream(and i do!) they were born 3/7 and 3/8, one yr apart so it gets very difficult. a couple of neighbors here and there but not people that that i can say we're very close with. I feel your pain, i really do and believe me if you need to talk, i'm here and not just on this site. you keep your head up and know you have a whole family of listeners here.when you need a good laugh, try to picture me doing my shopping with the 2 at such close ages, one wants to run all over the store, the wants everything in sight and i'm trying to make sure i misplace a very important Q! Please contact me anytime you feel the need to vent some more. You have your whole life ahead of you and 2 beautiful children, don't spend it being unhappy, having them is a blessing in itself. God Bless and be strong.many, many big hugs
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10-05-2009, 05:57 PM
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Quote:
__________________
"And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content" 1 Timothy 6:8
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10-05-2009, 06:08 PM
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You're pregnant and he went to a strip club?! My head is going to fall off. I had one of those guys. His name is THE EX. I was young and felt intimidated, but one day I had enough and never looked back. Now, I put my foot down and say it loud and proud if I don't like the way things are around my house. I really feel for you putting up with all his crap. And that's what it is..crap..no excuses.
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Twitter me @ Julie Felton
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10-05-2009, 07:27 PM
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I'm so sorry to hear you're going through a rough time right now
No matter what your husband's age is or the fact that he's anxious to get into the Navy, there is never any excuse for him to treat you badly. My husband and I have been together for 14yrs. I was 17 and he was 19 when we got together. 20 when I unexpectedly got pregnant with our first son. So I know what being young and having a family is all about. It's totally stressful for sure, but that's no reason for your husband to ever be mean to you. You seem like a very mature, caring and intelligent woman and you shouldn't put up with being treated as any less. I hope things get better for you and your children soon Nic Last edited by 4BoysOhMy; 10-06-2009 at 12:10 AM.
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10-05-2009, 09:00 PM
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There is no excuse for treating your wife so badly.
For the sake of you and your children, you may need to get out. One thing my pastor said was "If your relationship with God isn't in line, you other relationships will be out of line"
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