Just venting

[alikat316]

my Dh & I have been married for 9 1/2 years and we have a 3 yr old and 8 mth old and we love to disagree. Our marriage as had its ups and DOWNS but we get through it. I am sooo sorry you are going through this and I hope the birth of YOUR daughter is wonderful and it will keep you so busy now have 2 kids that it will give you and your husband a so called break

[iluvmyrgrts]

i know the way you feel. been married 16yrs and dh was the same way. thru the yrs with 6 kids and no adult interaction was tough. then i decided to focus on the kids happines and myself. i found things to do that made me happy. reading, gardening, taking kids to park...give myself inner peace. i stuck it out cuz i really loved him even though i wanted to walk out many times. bout a yr ago i told him some 28yr old asked me out for a cup of java i reassured him i would never cheat loved him too much. now he's even buying me gifts for my bday, having date nights with me and really listening to what i have to say. Keep the faith, God is always with you,focus on yourself and what makes you happy. try to remember what it was you liked to do before you were married. when you are happy, believe me dh will notice. Sending prayers your way

[r2short]

Originally Posted by nurse334

I know where your at right now have been married for 13 years and I swear that the older my husbands gets the younger he acts at this rate by the time he's 70 he'll act like a 2 year old....

Nurse334, I have been married for 25 years, and I couldn't agree with you more.


Coupon Queen
I'm so sorry that your unhappy and that you're feeling so lonely. I know we can't be there with you in person, but we are here for you when you need a friend. Please keep the faith, and know that you are not alone. I know it's hard to do, but try to find something positive in your day and maybe keep a gratitude journal. (write 1 thing you're grateful for each day) That way when you're having a really rough day, it helps to re-read the things that you're grateful for.

I will keep you in my prayers and am sending hugs your way

Best wishes on your new arrival, and please keep us updated.

[nizldy]

And those are not empty words. I take prayer seriously. God holds us accountable for saying we'll do things, so consider yourself and your family in my prayers.

You have my address and you have my phone number. Call me any time. If I'm working, it is not a problem at all, I can talk for a minute or two. I happen to be off tomorrow around 4 so if you'd like to meet at the Park that would be fine, whatever you feel like. I can totally relate to your situation as most woman can.

You know, I've always thought of marriage and weddings as deceptive in the sense that the movies make everything seem perfect but in reality it is a real struggle. And, here is one thing that most people never admit to or say out-loud. YOU WILL NOT ALWAYS LOVE YOUR SPOUSE. There ARE moments that the love seems to have fizzled......But, praise the Lord, He is there to guide us and through prayer and commitment to the Lord's ways, things will mend. I love that scripture that says a wife can turn her husband to the Lord without saying a word. Wow. What an awesome God we have.

1 Peter 3:1 (New International Version)
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives

I must say, it is so nice to have such an overwhelming response from the forum. And, even a response to travel from another state to be there for you. Wow! There are no words for that. I'm teary-eyed.

God is good.

May you be filled with peace and grace to get through each and every day.

[mnm'z]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It has to be tough going through this wonderful time of your life alone - basically. You are in my prayers and so is your marriage.

[jillynoodle]

oh i can relate, my dh can be so tuned out to anyone but himself...it has amazed me over the years...for ex..every night i say goodnight i love you sleep good...his response to that is i hope i do lol i used to find this quite hurtful because it just represented how i just didnt matter to him much..we had moved to a house and after living there for almost a year the kids in school thought my kids were with a single mom...and i was very active in the school so yes i really do know what you mean...i have found that if you stop concentrating on him to make you happy and take a look at yourself and your needs and what you enjoy you will have inner happiness without needing him to make you feel good...if he notices you are doing great and feels scared or jealous dont let him stop u..basically say he can hop on for the ride or keep on his own track..whatever...you have your children, and hopefully you will find just one good friend and hobbies and things to fufill you...its his loss if he is too self centered to care...good luck to you and if you ever need to vent talk whatever just pm me

[CrazyCajun]

PM'd you. What I had to say was long and personal, so....

[Coupon_Queen]

Originally Posted by nurse334

hey there
p.s I live in louisiana but I'll gladly come to the hospital and wait out side your door and share the wonderful experince of bring a child into the world take care big hug and prayers sent your way.

Thanks nurse. You'd have to wait in my living room! I'm having the baby at home.

[Coupon_Queen]

Thank you so much for all your encouragement. Reading these posts brought tears to my eyes. What I liked to do before I was married? Gosh I was a kid then, and doing hard drugs already for a few years. We were both users and 3 months after we met I got pregnant. So we got clean together and here we are. I was 20 and he was 18 when we met. So we're just trying to hang on and go through life. Today is a new day, I think he noticed I was depressed and made an effort to be nice, compliented my dinner (he usually is very picky) and made me scrambled eggs this morning. Its just that we don't talk, he is a wall of hurt from his mom abusing him. So communication is patchy at best. I could tell him I need comforting, it goes right through him. I do try to keep myself busy these days, knowing my time to myself is coming to a close! In december there will be no long baths, book reading for hours at night, or made from scratch everything. I do try to do a grateful list .Thanks again ladies. --Dana

[vagabond2]

Dana, you guys are so young! If I figure right your dh is the same age as my dd's bf and let me tell you he has tunnel vision....he tries to be caring etc but darn if there's sports or something more interesting he's there, its just the early 20's guy thing.

It sounds like you've matured a lot in the last 4 years. That's great! And I love that you want to give your kids a better life. Your dh obviously does as well with him entering the military. I've known many young people who've joined the military and become better people for it. They were searching for something but didn't know what and this gave them direction and most importantly the skills to go somewhere.

I understand about the communication....my dh was raised in an abusive home... Let me encourage you to continue to find ways to let him know you love him....5 Love Languages The Five Love Languages is a wonderful book which helped us understand each other better. My dh didn't realize that the little gifts I got him were my telling him I loved him, he thought because I didn't verbalize it that I didn't...and I could not stand him being all gushy telling me but not showing me. LOL

Keep us posted! We want to know how things are going! I am so glad today was a better day!!!!