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Originally Posted by natandnick
As many of us are, my husband and I are now faced with the failing health of our parents. My FIL has late stage alzheimers and my MIL is currently in the hospital for a heart attack and stroke as a result of the heart attack. My MIL was taking care of my FIL before but now she is not capable. Even if we got 24hour care my MIL would not be able to live in her home due to the floor plan. No bathroom or bedrooms on the first floor. Our home would work for them and they are more than welcomed to live with us. I am a bit scared though. Finacially we are in rough shape. I work 2 jobs and my husband 3 and we are barely making it. With working like this we are both exhausted already. Of course we would need to bring in help but I do want to hear from other caregivers to see how this effect home life and finances. We are having a family meeting Friday and I want to have some knowledge with me to help in the decision.  I also need to mention I have a 15 year old at home and another SIL nearby. |
I know how you feel my mom had a stroke in 1998 (she died 3 yrs ago this aug). I was married and had a 4 month old baby when this took place I have 3 other sisters 2 lived out of state and 1 who lived 5 minutes away from me I lived 2 houses down from my mom. My sister and I roated weekends and nights in order to stay at home with my mom in addition I paid ($360/wk) to a caretaker to come into my mom's home and take care of her while I worked 12 hour shifts and then came home to spend the night at my mom's and take care of her. Needless to say it was very hard and we did this for 3 months my mom was total care she could only feed her self she was wheelchair bound it took a physical, emotional, and finacial toll on my family. My sister and I argued a lot from the stress (she had lost her husband 1 month before and also had 3 children at the time this was going on) So sit down with all of your family members and weight the pros and cons make sure everyone will be able and willing to help it will be very hard also if you do go the nursing home route do your research and visit at diffrent times to take a tour of the home and visit often also be very pro active in the care of your loved ones and don't be afraid to speak up if you don't like something going on in the nursing home. good luck and may god help you make the right choice for you and your family sorry that this is long but from someone who had experience with this I wanted to shed some light on the subject hope it helps take care Lisa